Transition...Lights--Camera--ACTION!

I'm a mere 4 days away from making the big move back to Iowa!  I have such mixed emotions I can't even begin to explain them all.  Nervous, anxious, scared, excited, happy, sad.....

I had a going away party on Sunday and had 30 people show up to wish me farewell.  I felt very loved and appreciated.  It hadn't hit me yet that I was really leaving so it was weird saying bye to everyone.

Then last night I went up to Michigan to have dinner with a good friend and his parents.  As I drove to his house it started to hit me that I was leaving.  I have no idea if I will ever make that trip again!  It's sad!!!!!  We went to the Lake so I could get pictures of the sunset ONE last time before moving back to Iowa.  Jon has been such a good friends over the years especially when it comes to going to the beach just so I can take pictures.  He just lets me do my thing and hangs out with me.  We went back to his house and had ice cream and then before I knew it, I had to leave.  He walked me out to my car and it hit me like a brick wall--it was time to say goodbye.  I may never see Jon face to face again on this side of heaven.  I don't have a CLUE what I'm doing when I finish school so I have no idea if I'll ever be able to go back to Michigan to visit him and go takes pictures at the beach!  It was a sad night.

I hit another brick wall today.  I started packing up my "daily stuff"...things that I have been unable to pack until now because I was still using it!  All of my extra bathroom & kitchen stuff is packed up (i.e. bath towels, medicine, non-perishable food, and dishes).  Tomorrow I'm going to be giving away my kitchen table, recliner & bedside table.  I will also start packing up all my clothes.  It's so weird to think about living in my mom's house for more than 3 weeks!  I haven't lived there since August 2006 and now I'm moving back.

Life's about to get really interesting again so it's time to brace myself for whatever is going to come my way.  I'm bound to be an emotional mess by the time Saturday rolls around but I know God's carrying me!

Will post again post-moving day!

Out of Touch with Time

Never in my life have I found myself so out of touch with what day, week and month it is.  I have no idea where the last 3 weeks of my life have gone.  All I know is that it's the last week of my core classes for occupational therapy.  I've spent the last 18 hours finishing up my case study treatment plan and building assessment, shopping online for a new wardrobe for clinicals and of course sleeping!  I can hardly believe that Thursday is my last day of class in this program!  I swear I just started these classes yesterday.

I had my moments of thinking this program would be a breeze until I got into and realized there is no way to breeze through a 2 year program in 9 months.  It's been rough but I am happy to say that (at least after I get some sleep next weekend) I'm coming out a stronger person.

Before I know it I will be moving back to Iowa to start fieldwork and then I'll be back in Indiana for graduation.  Time's flying by and I guess that means I better hold on tight. My life has been been nothing less than chaotic since I graduated from Bethel but I think I was walking through the eye of the storm.  I'm staring reality in the face and there is no backing down.

When the move back to Iowa happens I intend to start blogging on a more regular basis to document the adventures of fieldwork and the start of my career as an Occupational Therapy Assistant! Couldn't be more excited!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's to a good week....

Visiting Home

Well after being away from Iowa for exactly 6 months, I made the trek home this past weekend.  Since my sister moved to Chicago last August, I'm able to drive to her house and then we make the trip back to Iowa together.  We traveled home to host bridal shower this weekend for our good friend Sarah.  Despite all three bridesmaids living in different states, we planned a successful shower and had a wonderful turnout of 40+ people.  Going home this weekend was a lot of fun, though a bit overwhelming.  Lately, my trips back to Iowa have been a bit of a whirlwind.  There is such limited time to see all my family and friends.  Thankfully I was able to spend some time with two of my four aunts and my grandparents as well as visiting briefly with a lot of my church family.  I had some good time with my mom as well and I'm so thankful for the love and support she gives me.

Because Jessica had to work again Monday morning, we headed back to her house Sunday afternoon.  I am on my week long "summer break" right now from school, so I decided it was a great time to spend a few extra days away from my place back in Indiana and relax.  I love spending time with Jessica but she's been working so that has given me my desired down time to relax.  So what did I do to relax and rejuvenate myself??  I worked in my sisters garden, cleaned my car (inside and out!), helped deep clean some stuff in the kitchen, did some leisure reading, helped get some extra laundry done for my sister, went on walks with my sister, edited pictures and best of all...SLEPT IN (except today)! :)  I'm going to be meeting Jess for lunch today and then heading back to good ole Indiana.  I'm almost packed and so I think I may allow myself to go out and play photographer at the town center before I head out.  One last opportunity to relax before hittin' the highway!

Being back in Iowa and spending time at Jessica's makes me appreciate my family a lot.  I miss them and love them more than ever!

Jessica & I sporting our new haircuts :)

Waiting with expectations?

I'm sitting in Starbucks and thinking about life.  It's not an unusual thing for me to do by any means!  It just hit me that I am half way done with my time at Brown Mackie--THIS is a good feeling.  I have completed 6 of my OT classes and if you have kept up with me at all, you'll know it's been stressful.  I am getting ready to embark on my first fieldwork experience.  One week of observations at a nursing home in Plymouth, IN.  I am incredibly anxious.  I don't know what to expect, but I'm ready for some out of class experience in this field.

I'm in the process of trying to figure out the...well the rest of my life! That's a semi-true statement, but honestly I can only make so many plans.  I've been unemployed for 3 full weeks and financially I'm done for.  I've been on the job hunt and I am currently waiting to hear back about a cashier position at Gordman's.  Due to the lack of income, I'm searching for a cheaper living arrangement.  While I currently live pretty cheaply, having no income make even this lifestyle hard to manage.  I've been seeking out my options, but all of the unknowns are causing more stress than I desire to deal with.  Even negative answers are better than complete unknowns in my book.

If anything--this season of life is teaching me a lot about humility and even more about dependence on God.  God's asking me to be patient and I don't want to be.  I'm ready to have a job so I can pay my bills.  God's evidently putting me into a deeper walk that requires more trust and more vulnerability than I anticipated.  I heard a song on the radio this past week on my way to school.  The first line said,

If faith can move the mountains, let the mountains move.  We come with expectation, waiting here for You.

I quickly turned up the volume so I could listen to the rest of the song. 

You're the Lord of all creation and still You know my heart. The author of salvation, You've loved us from the start. 

In that moment I could tell this song was played for me to hear.  I had spent last weekend meditating on the verse Matthew 17:20 "...I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."  I shared with a friend that my faith must be at the cellular level of that mustard seed!!!  The song continued into the chorus...

Waiting here for You with our hands lifted high in praise. And it's You we adore, singing alleluia.

The beginning said "we come with expectation, waiting here for You." How often do I come with expectation, but I am unwilling to wait for Him??  The chorus shattered my heart when I came to the realization that I have NOT been waiting for Him, with my hands lifted in praise!  I am instead coming with all sorts of expectations, begging God to come through in my moment of need yet never surrendering my will to Him.  WELL NO WONDER I'M NOT GETTING ANYWHERE!  God is not here to just make things happen in my life!  He is here to be loved, worshipped and praised by ME!  By His precious, chosen child!

This song, "Waiting Here For You" by Christy Nockles is the new cry of my heart.

You are everything you've promised, Your faithfulness is true. We're desperate for Your presence, all we need is You!

http://youtu.be/J3OEGnH5x8g

Sunrise with Jesus

I took a much needed walk with Jesus this morning.  It's been the most draining month of my entire life.  Academically--I've never endured so much dreaded work.  Spiritually--I've never had such a dry, distant season.  Emotionally--I've never had so many ups and downs in this short of a time span.  Physically--I've never felt so exhausted after getting so much sleep.  Socially--I've never experienced a craving of friends AND alone time at the same time so much.  To sum that up--it's just been a ridiculous month!

So back to my starting point, I went on a walk with Jesus this morning.  As I arrived on the campus of the University of Notre Dame, I had a very faint idea of where I was attempting to go.  Despite living 10 minutes away from Notre Dame for the past 5 years, I had never stepped foot on the campus prior to 6:50am today.  I parked in what I presumed was the south visitor parking lot (though I later found out it was not) and started walking towards the back of the campus to get to the campus lakes.  I finally caught sight of the lakes and looked up to the sky.  My goal was to get down to the lakes just as the sun was coming up.  Whether it was my awesome timing or God just allowing it to work out, I was in the perfect place when the sun began to shoot colors across the sky. 

As I continued around the first lake, I thought to myself, "He did this for ME."  I am a firm believer that God does answer prayers and I was praying for a beautiful morning--it was that and so much more.  It was one of the most beautiful sunrises I've ever seen...which is saying something!  For not being a morning person, I love, love, LOVE the opportunity to see the sunrise.  I used to wake up at obnoxious hours in high school with a friend to go see the sunrise.  We haven't done it in a long time, and I was well overdue for another encounter with the first rays of dawn.

After the brilliant colors of the sunrise disappeared, I finished walking around the first lake and headed towards the second lake.  By the end of my walk, I had one thought going through my head that has not left me all day.  "Amidst the busyness of life, God is still here!"  After an insanely crazy month, I needed this reminder.  Through all my struggles, God is still here!  In the darkest of nights, God is still here!  In the moments that life gets me down, God is still here!  There is a promise in Hebrews 3:15 that I need to cling to every waking moment of my life.  “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you."  Even when I do get bogged down with the busyness of life, Jesus is still the Lord of my life.  I find comfort in that.  Comfort, knowing I am not, nor will I ever be alone. :)

It was a good morning, but you better believe that I went home and took a nap afterwards! :)  The last two pictures are pictures from this morning that I wanted to share just because I can.

Marching through 2011

Okay--forgive my cheesy title.
It's March already and I don't know where the time is going. January proved to be a relatively easy month of school. It was time consuming but not mentally draining, which was a big blessing. Health wise things got interesting. I ended up in the ER after dealing with some severe pelvic pain. By the time I saw the doctor almost 6 hours after arriving, the pain had stopped. They told me the pain was from cysts on my ovaries rupturing and there was nothing they could do. My body just reabsorbs the fluid, so I walked out with a prescription for Vicodin. All 6 hours of waiting just for a little piece of paper. Fabulous, huh? Well I've carried the pain meds around with me for the last month JUST in case, but luckily nothing has happened again. While I've never given birth---that was the most extreme pain ever!

February passed with a great deal of stress due to a very intense class at school that involved memorizing lots of bones and muscles in a short 4 week period.  I came out of the class with a decent grade (better than expect!) so I have no complaints now.  I don't even know what else took place in February because school demanded so much of my time.

And now it's March!  The month has started off kinda rough.  School has once again been very difficult so far.  I'm half way done with my class and am MORE than ready to accept it as part of my HISTORY! :)  Soon enough it will be, so I should stop wishing away my time. 

Outside of school, I honestly don't have much of a life.  Work is time consuming, though not very exciting.  I'm in the process of training some of my students to become "Student Managers."  It's pretty fun!  Ya know...I like this manager position.  I enjoy being in charge and I love teaching my "mad skills" to them! :)  Okay...skip the mad skills part--I just enjoy the training process.  It gives me something to be proud of, I guess.  I'm proud to have the skills and qualifications to do it, and it makes me proud to see my workers stepping up in leadership.

Well I think it's time to wrap this post up.  I've enjoyed being able to blog again...I need to do it more often!!!  It's a good stress relief! Later days, people!

20-- what?!?!

Am I the only one reminiscing on the year 2000 and laughing at the whole Y2K thing?  But seriously....2011?!  Doesn't seem possible.  A lot has gone down in the last decade.   Here's a little something to put it in perspective...let's see here, I was in 6th grade when 2000 hit.  So in the last decade I finished junior high, senior high and college.  How crazy is that?

So, what are my plans for 2011?  I plan to finish out another college degree...that's probably the biggest goal!  Outside of that, well I really don't have much else to think about.  I know I will continue to learn and grow in all aspects of my life.  That's just the way life works!

I ended 2010 with a couple exciting things.  I adopted a cat!!! :)  Her name is Molly and I love her to pieces!  She's a big furry goofball but lots of fun to have around.  I also got to take a little adventure to downtown Chicago with my sister to check out the Christmas lights of the city.  Talk about a ridiculously cold idea! :)  I think the other fun adventure was trying out some old cooking/baking tricks from my mom.  Made my mom's granola for the first time and it was a great success.  Also tried my hand at making my own cream sauce to use for pasta--a success as well (this was a pretty easy task though)!

For the first time since my junior year of high school, I had NOTHING to do during "Christmas Break."  I didn't have to work and I really didn't have to think about school either.  It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO nice.  I totally vegged out the last few days of this year.  Lots of "me" time--reading, cooking, sleeping,

cleaning, playing around on the computer...all the stuff that I love! :)  I've loved every minute of it!  I even let it roll over into the new year!  Last night was the first night I left my apartment since Wednesday. It was a good feeling.

To start off the new year in the best way possible, I went to my favorite place on the east side of the Mississippi River--Silver Beach, St. Joseph, Michigan.  Yes...I went to the beach in January.  The pier at this beach is absolutely amazing during the winter.  It becomes ice covered and turns into a breath-taking view.  I would have loved to spend more time taking pictures, but it was more than cold and I couldn't feel my body by the time we got back to the car.  It was totally worth it though!

What is December all about?

  Wow....December already?!  I feel like it should be September still...except there is snow on the ground, my winter coat is hanging on the chair behind me and my boots are on.  So ready or not...winter has unofficially, officially started.  I just got done enjoying my favorite Starbucks drink and a wonderful conversation with a dear friend.  I decided before heading back to my apartment that I would write a new blog post.  We are three days into this month, but December has become a little overwhelming already.
  Well, back track to November 29th.  I started another new class at Brown Mackie.  I finished my November class with a 96%.  I have started my core classes now...so I'm officially in the OTA program!  So TECHNICALLY I can start putting special little letters at the end of my name..."Rose Geertz, OTAS"  Haha...I am an occupational therapy assistant STUDENT.  When I graduate I will be an OTA...and after I pass my certification test, I'll be a COTA...and if I go on to get my masters I'll be an OTR.  Okay, sorry for the little rant, but someday those little letters will mean something :)  This class started on Monday and will go until December 22nd.  I have buckled up for a rough month.  This class is TOUGH!  It's definitely a lot harder than the other two classes I've had at Brown Mackie.  The worst part....they keep telling us that it's the easiest class in the program!!!!  I have 6 books for the class and I get to read multiple chapters each night after class.  EEEK!  God's strength will be the only thing to get me through this crazy month of class.
  December 1st--marked the beginning of my 5th month out on my own.  It's hard to believe...but I've got all my Christmas decorations up, which makes me happy!  :)  December 1st also marked the 6th anniversary of my friend Matt's death.  It just doesn't seem possible that he's been gone for that long.  With each passing day, we're one day closer to being together again.  As I visited the cemetery last weekend, memories flooded my mind of our times together.  Since Wednesday, memories of his funeral have been flying through my mind.  It was surreal then and it's surreal now.  Walking away from the grave that morning tore my heart in two.  Losing a classmate, a friend, a brother in Christ is not easy--especially at the age of 16/17.  My 17th birthday just seemed...wrong...when I thought about him being gone.  Each December 1st that has passed, I grieve the loss again.  In my mind it just doesn't seem right.
  Today marks another anniversary.  One year ago, I received an early morning phone call from my dad that Grandpa had passed away.  Upon hearing the news of his condition the day before, I began making plans to drive home for the funeral.  Somehow I knew, that he wasn't going to pull out of it.  He had been in and out of the hospital/nursing home for a few years and we had heard it was the end numerous times....but somehow at this time last year, I knew it really was the end.  The early phone call did not come as a surprise.  I was never super close to Grandpa, but it was still a lost loved one.  I traveled home for the funeral.  Being with my dad's family again was good, but the occasion was difficult.  I am the last of the Geertz blood-line and it was hard to see Grandpa in the casket.  Remembering back to the days on the farm, I thought of the day he taught me how to snap my fingers.  It still brings a smile to my face.  As we said our final goodbyes at the grave, I broke down.  I knew my grandpa was in Heaven, I knew he had served his time...a long 94 years--but I was still sad.  My grandpa was gone.  Forever. I no longer had the chance to hug him and tell him I loved him.  My cousin grabbed me two carnations from the casket and reminded me Grandpa was in a better place.  I hugged my aunt and she told me it was all going to be okay.  I clutched onto the carnations and said one last goodbye.  My grandpa's death has become another December memory that will never leave.
  Soon I will celebrate my 23rd birthday.  It's kind of odd...I'm not excited for my birthday.  I don't really think it's a bad thing. I do not need or expect anything big or grand to happen on the 13th.  I have so much and I'm already blessed beyond measure--I don't need anything else.  I will be content to be engage in my education, work a few hours to make a living and talk with my family & friends.  Birthday's are a big deal to some, but I already feel blessed & loved...I don't need a special day set aside for it.
 Soon after the birthday festivities will be Christmas.  This Christmas will be a new experience for me.  I may miss my family Christmas get together for the first time since I was 4.  Growing up and moving 5 hours away from the family--it takes a toll on you.  I didn't recognize the toll it would take until I realized it meant being away on the holidays.  I made it home for Thanksgiving and "I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams."  Sitting alone in my apartment on Christmas would be terrible.  If anything, I will do what I have to to get to IL, to my sisters house.  I pray God will allow the weather to stay calm enough for the three of us to make it back to Iowa to be with family.  Of all the family members, I am the farthest away so it makes me appreciate my family that much more.  My time with them is limited and it makes me realize how much they mean to me.
  Before I know it, January will be here.  December will prove to be a trying month for me, no doubt.  Old memories and new challenges will be etched into the calendar of my heart.  It's just another month, but I know it will not soon be forgotten.  So what's December all about anyway....?  Reflection? Yes, I think so.

Fall into Winter...

  Well, so far school is going well.  I finished my first class a couple weeks ago with a 98%.  It was incredibly boring but hey...it was a great GPA booster! I'm in my second class now...medical terminology.  So far, so good.  It's another boring class but it's great review to get my mindset back on the medical field for school.  The class is already flying by and soon it will be December and time to start my real OTA classes! :)   Outside of school there is work and social life.  Work is work....I'm happy to have a job that is flexible with my school schedule.  I honestly have a pretty easy job all things considered, so I will enjoy it while I can!  Actually, work alone has sort of become a bit of my social life.  It's the only time I really get to see all of my friends that are still Bethel students!  It's nice to get paid for seeing friends! :)
  It's hard to believe that November is here already.  I've been living in my apartment for just over three months, yet I feel like I've lived there for FOREVER!  Haha....so yes needless to say, I feel at home and I'm completely settled in!  I even have some "fall" decorations up, which makes it more homey.  I'm pumped to start decorating for Christmas though!!!  I hope to get a tree in the next couple weeks! :)
  It snowed this past Friday....off and on all day.  It led to me having to clean my car off for the first time of the "winter" season!!  Seeing the snow falling brought so very odd sense of happiness though.  It just sort of made me get excited for Christmas.  This could also be due to the fact that I was looking forward to the Trans Siberian Orchestra concert that I attended the next day! :)  I'll get back to the concert in a second...first more about Friday.  I worked a nine hour shift on Friday and after cleaning off my car to go home, I arrived to find that I had no power.  SOMEHOW our power went out for over 6 hours, though I still don't have a clue why.  I'm assuming a transformer went out, but no one knew for sure in my complex.  It was fun to meet a few of my neighbors as we stood outside trying to figure out what happened.  When I got back home after the power was turned on, I finally broke down and turned my heat on.  Because each room in the house has it's own thermostat, I figured I could just hold off on turning the heat on and use lots of blankets at night.  So besides one cold morning that I turned the heat on in my bathroom while I was getting ready, I waited until after the first snowfall to turn on the heat.  That was my initial plan and I held out on it!!!

 Saturday rolled around and Danielle & I took off for Peoria.  We met up with Andrew & Eamon to go to the Trans Siberian Orchestra concert.  It was one AMAZING concert.  I knew going into the whole thing that I would more than likely walk away with a headache.  The awesome music & incredible light show did exactly what I expected it to...made me want to crawl in a whole and cry!  By the time we got to dinner, I had such a terrible headache I thought I was going to get sick.  So, before ordering any real food, Andrew got me some water & crackers at the restaurant and I took some Excedrin.  I thought it'd be smart to take 3 Excedrin instead of my normal 2, just to make sure it killed the headache.  Well...my headache slowly disappeared, but then I really felt sick.  For the next 24-ish hours, I had an awful stomach ache.  I still don't know what caused it...if it was the pills or the food I ate, all I know is I felt like throwing up all stinkin' day!

  Despite the illness, I had a great weekend hanging out with my friends.  We enjoyed the concert and the awesome hotel that we got a GREAT deal on (Thank you, Andrew!).  Swimming in one pretty awesome pool, enjoying a hot tub and watching ridiculous YouTube videos by the fireplace...yep, doesn't get better than that!  Haha....and of course passing out in a big ole comfy bed all to myself was much appreciated as I felt sick.

  That was a pretty random update...but hey, better than nothing! :)

For the first time since this summer, I'm headed back to my mom's to enjoy some R&R.  It's so weird to say that....I mean it will always be home, but I don't live there anymore.  I've got a place of my own that I call home now.  I can't even say I just wanna go sleep in my own bed....because I have my own bed at my own place!  Oh the joys of growing up! :)
I'm learning to balance out school and work.  So far, so good.  I aced my first test this week at school.  It didn't really surprise me because it was easy material but regardless it made me happy to see "100%" written at the top of my exam when I got it back.  After talking with one of the OTA professors, I've come to the understanding that I will no longer have a life when I start the actual OT classes.  I'm....oh....so.......very ex....cited?  HA!  I'm nervous, but I think I can do it.  I guess we'll see just how hard it really is in a couple more months!
Aside from school and work, God's been teaching me a lot lately.  I am learning more about being dependent on HIM.  It's not an easy lesson to learn, especially when I'm trying to figure out life as an independent young adult!  God has great plans for me, and I am needing to be patient as I seek out what those plans are.  He is requiring me to be patient.  While patience is a strong point for me, He is kind of testing me on it.  I have to continually surrender to Him.  In the end...I know it will be worth it!  God's too good to leave me hanging without my needs being met.  It's all in HIS timing though!  I'm enjoying life and enjoying following God's plan for me.  Not to say it's easy, but it is rewarding.

Here we go!

School starts tomorrow!  HERE WE GO!

Short. Sweet. To the point...

It's the middle of September!

Life really does go on....sometimes without me even noticing just how quickly!  I decided since it is September now, I'm well over-due for an update!
  Summer quickly turned into the start of a new school year.  Yes....I graduated from Bethel in May and no, I've not returned to Bethel as a student.  Instead of returning as a student, I am working at the college.  While I still feel very connected to the student body, it continues to sink in that I am no longer a part of the Bethel student body.  I should be and am a proud alumni.  I am working part time for Sodexo as a supervisor.  I get to be an awesome boss to some awesome student workers.  My responsibilities can sound confusing, but in all reality, the only responsibility I have is to make my workers do their job.  Their jobs include running the salad bar, dessert bar, deli, breakfast bar, sometimes helping with the main lines AND cleaning up at the end of our shift.  The joys of being a supervisor--if they mess up and I don't catch it before I send them home, I get stuck having to do it OR I get chewed out the next day.  Really though--it's not that bad.  My first couple weeks were very stressful as I was still working my summer job and I did not have any student workers, so their said job description all fell on my shoulders.  I have six workers each night to take care of everything and I was having to do it all by myself.  So yes, it was a pretty rough start to my new job.  I'm about a month into the job and I am now comfortable with everything so things are looking up!
  So, the Bethel school year has started out pretty well and MY school year is two weeks away from starting.  I start classes on October 4th.  I actually have orientation in like 10 days and that will be the true start of everything for me.  When I start class, I will be taking two more gen eds before getting into the actual OTA program classes.  Brown Mackie does one class per month so after 14 months I will be finished with my occupational therapy assistant degree.  I have a contact to start some job shadowing as well so I am excited for everything to get started.  It's been almost 6 months since I graduated and I think I might be ready to start school again!  It's weird not being in school....it's going to be weird when I'm really done with school!!!  Which in all honesty could be another 4 or 5 years from now if I chose to go back for my masters!
  Well....the other big update on life is about growing up.  I moved into my own apartment about 6 weeks ago.  I love living in an apartment.  I have so much space to myself and it's only MY space.  For the first time in my whole life, I don't have to share my space with anyone.  Honestly I think EVERYONE should do this for at least some period of time before getting married.  It's such a good feeling to just do your own thing.  No rules, no one else to worry about, no expectations from house/roommates....it's just you doing your own thing.  I think you learn a lot about yourself that way.  So what have I learned???  I've learned a lot about being responsible.  Yes, at 22 (almost 23) I'm still learning about being responsible.  It almost seems funny!  But....when there is no one else around to help clean up your mess, you've got to be responsible!  I have to do all my dishes, sweep & vacuum my floors, do all my laundry, clean/dust on a regular basis.....all that jazz.  I am determined to keep my apartment looking nice and so far it's been pretty easy.  Once I got settled into my place, I've been able to keep stuff put away.  The hardest part for me is keeping my dishes done, but I'm learning more and more than it just bothers me when my dishes pile up.  So yea....this growing up thing is going pretty well.  As far as all the fears I had going into it, well not that they have totally disappeared but I'm accepting it and dealing with things as they come up.  Money has not really been a big problem.  It's stressful, but God has totally provided when I need it.  My safety/security--I've never felt threatened but I just make sure I keep my doors and windows locked whenever I can.  And really, those were my biggest fears.  I'm in a strict enough schedule that I don't have to worry about staying up all night and not waking up in time to do get to work.  My body doesn't let me stay up late.  I think I'm getting old. ;)
 Okay...well I think that's an adequate update!  I'll try to not wait so long the next time so it doesn't get so long!

Wow.

I can hardly believe that this summer is nearing it's end.  My attitude going into this summer was "wow...this is gonna be interesting!"  It has been nothing but!!!

First off, God is moving so much right now.  I have been so blessed the past two weeks.  Instead of continuing my slow fade from HIM, He has brought me back into His arms.  I have brothers and sisters looking after me and praying for on a regular basis.  My passion for the hurting children of God has be renewed.  God has shown me once again that even though I am nothing more than a messed up human, I AM STILL VALUABLE to HIM! :)  I have nothing to offer but brokenness and let me be the first to say I'm pretty sure that's all He wants!  God has picked up my shattered world and molded me back into His precious vessel.  I know I will be used in ways beyond my current comprehension.  I can't imagine walking through life alone ever again.  After spending the first two months of summer running around trying to "figure out the rest of my life" as I commonly said, I am now trusting God's hand instead.  It brings a smile to my face and to my heart.  His love is unending and never ceases to amaze me.

I am a mere 3 days away from moving into my very first apartment.  I'm beyond excited but also beyond freaked out.  Actually--two weeks ago that's how I felt.  I am now more anxious to see how God helps me down this next step in my walk.  Moving out on your own can be very challenging and frightening.  Expenses that you are unaware of will pop up and next thing you know, you're scraping for coins.  Everyday household items, all the sudden mean more to you than before....because they aren't just there anymore---you have to provide them!  I know God will be placed as the head of my household and I intend to totally surrender my new apartment to Him and His will for me.

I will also be starting a new job & beginning more classes in the upcoming months.  The logistics have fallen into place and I am once again anxious to see how things work out.  God is good and faithful to provide what I need, when I need it.  If this means sleeping on my best friend's dorm room floor, eating ramen while studying for exams, it may just come to that.  If it means paying ahead on bills, waking up early to read ahead in my text books and serving the community in the evenings, I will be blessed beyond reason.  My life, my apartment, my job and my education are no longer in my hands, but in HIS!

Summer Time

Well it's been just over a month since I graduated from Bethel and where am I now? Well...still at Bethel! Working for housekeeping for the 2nd summer in a row. I have been applying for jobs and looking at apartments since the end of April. I have also been trying to figure out this whole going back to school in October ordeal.
  So here's the deal--I want to go to Brown Mackie (starting October 4th) for their occupational therapy assistant program. I am trying to get my finances squared away and it's been 10x more stressful than it ever was at Bethel. Somehow! I think I finally have a plan worked out that will allow me to get the money I need to cover the first 9 months of schooling. Woo! Oh but there is a catch!!! Even if I get the finances squared away, I still need a job to pay for my housing & food for the next two years. My job at Bethel only lasts through the end of August. This being said--if I have not found another job at the end of July, I will be making plans to head home and work for awhile before going back to school. While this is not my first choice, it will just have to work out if that's the way things go. As long as a job is in place and my school plans work out, I will be moving to South Bend at least semi-permanently to finish off this degree. I have an apartment picked out and just need to get my application turned in to secure my spot. One step at a time, though! It's all a bit overwhelming!!!
  Outside of figuring out the next step, I am plenty busy working 40 hours a week and spending lots of time with my friends. It's been a good summer so far and I can HARDLY believe that June is here and flyin' by fast. Buckle up...it's gonna be a wild ride!
  Later days!