Transition...Lights--Camera--ACTION!

I'm a mere 4 days away from making the big move back to Iowa!  I have such mixed emotions I can't even begin to explain them all.  Nervous, anxious, scared, excited, happy, sad.....

I had a going away party on Sunday and had 30 people show up to wish me farewell.  I felt very loved and appreciated.  It hadn't hit me yet that I was really leaving so it was weird saying bye to everyone.

Then last night I went up to Michigan to have dinner with a good friend and his parents.  As I drove to his house it started to hit me that I was leaving.  I have no idea if I will ever make that trip again!  It's sad!!!!!  We went to the Lake so I could get pictures of the sunset ONE last time before moving back to Iowa.  Jon has been such a good friends over the years especially when it comes to going to the beach just so I can take pictures.  He just lets me do my thing and hangs out with me.  We went back to his house and had ice cream and then before I knew it, I had to leave.  He walked me out to my car and it hit me like a brick wall--it was time to say goodbye.  I may never see Jon face to face again on this side of heaven.  I don't have a CLUE what I'm doing when I finish school so I have no idea if I'll ever be able to go back to Michigan to visit him and go takes pictures at the beach!  It was a sad night.

I hit another brick wall today.  I started packing up my "daily stuff"...things that I have been unable to pack until now because I was still using it!  All of my extra bathroom & kitchen stuff is packed up (i.e. bath towels, medicine, non-perishable food, and dishes).  Tomorrow I'm going to be giving away my kitchen table, recliner & bedside table.  I will also start packing up all my clothes.  It's so weird to think about living in my mom's house for more than 3 weeks!  I haven't lived there since August 2006 and now I'm moving back.

Life's about to get really interesting again so it's time to brace myself for whatever is going to come my way.  I'm bound to be an emotional mess by the time Saturday rolls around but I know God's carrying me!

Will post again post-moving day!

Out of Touch with Time

Never in my life have I found myself so out of touch with what day, week and month it is.  I have no idea where the last 3 weeks of my life have gone.  All I know is that it's the last week of my core classes for occupational therapy.  I've spent the last 18 hours finishing up my case study treatment plan and building assessment, shopping online for a new wardrobe for clinicals and of course sleeping!  I can hardly believe that Thursday is my last day of class in this program!  I swear I just started these classes yesterday.

I had my moments of thinking this program would be a breeze until I got into and realized there is no way to breeze through a 2 year program in 9 months.  It's been rough but I am happy to say that (at least after I get some sleep next weekend) I'm coming out a stronger person.

Before I know it I will be moving back to Iowa to start fieldwork and then I'll be back in Indiana for graduation.  Time's flying by and I guess that means I better hold on tight. My life has been been nothing less than chaotic since I graduated from Bethel but I think I was walking through the eye of the storm.  I'm staring reality in the face and there is no backing down.

When the move back to Iowa happens I intend to start blogging on a more regular basis to document the adventures of fieldwork and the start of my career as an Occupational Therapy Assistant! Couldn't be more excited!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's to a good week....

Visiting Home

Well after being away from Iowa for exactly 6 months, I made the trek home this past weekend.  Since my sister moved to Chicago last August, I'm able to drive to her house and then we make the trip back to Iowa together.  We traveled home to host bridal shower this weekend for our good friend Sarah.  Despite all three bridesmaids living in different states, we planned a successful shower and had a wonderful turnout of 40+ people.  Going home this weekend was a lot of fun, though a bit overwhelming.  Lately, my trips back to Iowa have been a bit of a whirlwind.  There is such limited time to see all my family and friends.  Thankfully I was able to spend some time with two of my four aunts and my grandparents as well as visiting briefly with a lot of my church family.  I had some good time with my mom as well and I'm so thankful for the love and support she gives me.

Because Jessica had to work again Monday morning, we headed back to her house Sunday afternoon.  I am on my week long "summer break" right now from school, so I decided it was a great time to spend a few extra days away from my place back in Indiana and relax.  I love spending time with Jessica but she's been working so that has given me my desired down time to relax.  So what did I do to relax and rejuvenate myself??  I worked in my sisters garden, cleaned my car (inside and out!), helped deep clean some stuff in the kitchen, did some leisure reading, helped get some extra laundry done for my sister, went on walks with my sister, edited pictures and best of all...SLEPT IN (except today)! :)  I'm going to be meeting Jess for lunch today and then heading back to good ole Indiana.  I'm almost packed and so I think I may allow myself to go out and play photographer at the town center before I head out.  One last opportunity to relax before hittin' the highway!

Being back in Iowa and spending time at Jessica's makes me appreciate my family a lot.  I miss them and love them more than ever!

Jessica & I sporting our new haircuts :)

Waiting with expectations?

I'm sitting in Starbucks and thinking about life.  It's not an unusual thing for me to do by any means!  It just hit me that I am half way done with my time at Brown Mackie--THIS is a good feeling.  I have completed 6 of my OT classes and if you have kept up with me at all, you'll know it's been stressful.  I am getting ready to embark on my first fieldwork experience.  One week of observations at a nursing home in Plymouth, IN.  I am incredibly anxious.  I don't know what to expect, but I'm ready for some out of class experience in this field.

I'm in the process of trying to figure out the...well the rest of my life! That's a semi-true statement, but honestly I can only make so many plans.  I've been unemployed for 3 full weeks and financially I'm done for.  I've been on the job hunt and I am currently waiting to hear back about a cashier position at Gordman's.  Due to the lack of income, I'm searching for a cheaper living arrangement.  While I currently live pretty cheaply, having no income make even this lifestyle hard to manage.  I've been seeking out my options, but all of the unknowns are causing more stress than I desire to deal with.  Even negative answers are better than complete unknowns in my book.

If anything--this season of life is teaching me a lot about humility and even more about dependence on God.  God's asking me to be patient and I don't want to be.  I'm ready to have a job so I can pay my bills.  God's evidently putting me into a deeper walk that requires more trust and more vulnerability than I anticipated.  I heard a song on the radio this past week on my way to school.  The first line said,

If faith can move the mountains, let the mountains move.  We come with expectation, waiting here for You.

I quickly turned up the volume so I could listen to the rest of the song. 

You're the Lord of all creation and still You know my heart. The author of salvation, You've loved us from the start. 

In that moment I could tell this song was played for me to hear.  I had spent last weekend meditating on the verse Matthew 17:20 "...I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."  I shared with a friend that my faith must be at the cellular level of that mustard seed!!!  The song continued into the chorus...

Waiting here for You with our hands lifted high in praise. And it's You we adore, singing alleluia.

The beginning said "we come with expectation, waiting here for You." How often do I come with expectation, but I am unwilling to wait for Him??  The chorus shattered my heart when I came to the realization that I have NOT been waiting for Him, with my hands lifted in praise!  I am instead coming with all sorts of expectations, begging God to come through in my moment of need yet never surrendering my will to Him.  WELL NO WONDER I'M NOT GETTING ANYWHERE!  God is not here to just make things happen in my life!  He is here to be loved, worshipped and praised by ME!  By His precious, chosen child!

This song, "Waiting Here For You" by Christy Nockles is the new cry of my heart.

You are everything you've promised, Your faithfulness is true. We're desperate for Your presence, all we need is You!

http://youtu.be/J3OEGnH5x8g

Sunrise with Jesus

I took a much needed walk with Jesus this morning.  It's been the most draining month of my entire life.  Academically--I've never endured so much dreaded work.  Spiritually--I've never had such a dry, distant season.  Emotionally--I've never had so many ups and downs in this short of a time span.  Physically--I've never felt so exhausted after getting so much sleep.  Socially--I've never experienced a craving of friends AND alone time at the same time so much.  To sum that up--it's just been a ridiculous month!

So back to my starting point, I went on a walk with Jesus this morning.  As I arrived on the campus of the University of Notre Dame, I had a very faint idea of where I was attempting to go.  Despite living 10 minutes away from Notre Dame for the past 5 years, I had never stepped foot on the campus prior to 6:50am today.  I parked in what I presumed was the south visitor parking lot (though I later found out it was not) and started walking towards the back of the campus to get to the campus lakes.  I finally caught sight of the lakes and looked up to the sky.  My goal was to get down to the lakes just as the sun was coming up.  Whether it was my awesome timing or God just allowing it to work out, I was in the perfect place when the sun began to shoot colors across the sky. 

As I continued around the first lake, I thought to myself, "He did this for ME."  I am a firm believer that God does answer prayers and I was praying for a beautiful morning--it was that and so much more.  It was one of the most beautiful sunrises I've ever seen...which is saying something!  For not being a morning person, I love, love, LOVE the opportunity to see the sunrise.  I used to wake up at obnoxious hours in high school with a friend to go see the sunrise.  We haven't done it in a long time, and I was well overdue for another encounter with the first rays of dawn.

After the brilliant colors of the sunrise disappeared, I finished walking around the first lake and headed towards the second lake.  By the end of my walk, I had one thought going through my head that has not left me all day.  "Amidst the busyness of life, God is still here!"  After an insanely crazy month, I needed this reminder.  Through all my struggles, God is still here!  In the darkest of nights, God is still here!  In the moments that life gets me down, God is still here!  There is a promise in Hebrews 3:15 that I need to cling to every waking moment of my life.  “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you."  Even when I do get bogged down with the busyness of life, Jesus is still the Lord of my life.  I find comfort in that.  Comfort, knowing I am not, nor will I ever be alone. :)

It was a good morning, but you better believe that I went home and took a nap afterwards! :)  The last two pictures are pictures from this morning that I wanted to share just because I can.

Marching through 2011

Okay--forgive my cheesy title.
It's March already and I don't know where the time is going. January proved to be a relatively easy month of school. It was time consuming but not mentally draining, which was a big blessing. Health wise things got interesting. I ended up in the ER after dealing with some severe pelvic pain. By the time I saw the doctor almost 6 hours after arriving, the pain had stopped. They told me the pain was from cysts on my ovaries rupturing and there was nothing they could do. My body just reabsorbs the fluid, so I walked out with a prescription for Vicodin. All 6 hours of waiting just for a little piece of paper. Fabulous, huh? Well I've carried the pain meds around with me for the last month JUST in case, but luckily nothing has happened again. While I've never given birth---that was the most extreme pain ever!

February passed with a great deal of stress due to a very intense class at school that involved memorizing lots of bones and muscles in a short 4 week period.  I came out of the class with a decent grade (better than expect!) so I have no complaints now.  I don't even know what else took place in February because school demanded so much of my time.

And now it's March!  The month has started off kinda rough.  School has once again been very difficult so far.  I'm half way done with my class and am MORE than ready to accept it as part of my HISTORY! :)  Soon enough it will be, so I should stop wishing away my time. 

Outside of school, I honestly don't have much of a life.  Work is time consuming, though not very exciting.  I'm in the process of training some of my students to become "Student Managers."  It's pretty fun!  Ya know...I like this manager position.  I enjoy being in charge and I love teaching my "mad skills" to them! :)  Okay...skip the mad skills part--I just enjoy the training process.  It gives me something to be proud of, I guess.  I'm proud to have the skills and qualifications to do it, and it makes me proud to see my workers stepping up in leadership.

Well I think it's time to wrap this post up.  I've enjoyed being able to blog again...I need to do it more often!!!  It's a good stress relief! Later days, people!

20-- what?!?!

Am I the only one reminiscing on the year 2000 and laughing at the whole Y2K thing?  But seriously....2011?!  Doesn't seem possible.  A lot has gone down in the last decade.   Here's a little something to put it in perspective...let's see here, I was in 6th grade when 2000 hit.  So in the last decade I finished junior high, senior high and college.  How crazy is that?

So, what are my plans for 2011?  I plan to finish out another college degree...that's probably the biggest goal!  Outside of that, well I really don't have much else to think about.  I know I will continue to learn and grow in all aspects of my life.  That's just the way life works!

I ended 2010 with a couple exciting things.  I adopted a cat!!! :)  Her name is Molly and I love her to pieces!  She's a big furry goofball but lots of fun to have around.  I also got to take a little adventure to downtown Chicago with my sister to check out the Christmas lights of the city.  Talk about a ridiculously cold idea! :)  I think the other fun adventure was trying out some old cooking/baking tricks from my mom.  Made my mom's granola for the first time and it was a great success.  Also tried my hand at making my own cream sauce to use for pasta--a success as well (this was a pretty easy task though)!

For the first time since my junior year of high school, I had NOTHING to do during "Christmas Break."  I didn't have to work and I really didn't have to think about school either.  It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO nice.  I totally vegged out the last few days of this year.  Lots of "me" time--reading, cooking, sleeping,

cleaning, playing around on the computer...all the stuff that I love! :)  I've loved every minute of it!  I even let it roll over into the new year!  Last night was the first night I left my apartment since Wednesday. It was a good feeling.

To start off the new year in the best way possible, I went to my favorite place on the east side of the Mississippi River--Silver Beach, St. Joseph, Michigan.  Yes...I went to the beach in January.  The pier at this beach is absolutely amazing during the winter.  It becomes ice covered and turns into a breath-taking view.  I would have loved to spend more time taking pictures, but it was more than cold and I couldn't feel my body by the time we got back to the car.  It was totally worth it though!